I don't even know how to describe this day. This one of the hardest days. This was our final day with the girls before they left our home. It has been the most wonderful, challenging, heart breaking, joyful 1 1/2 years that we have ever had. We have been so blessed to have these beautiful little girls with us. They have brought a joy to our home and they are going to be missed. Even as I write this it has been almost 2 months since they left but the emotions are still there. I can honestly say that the day that they left I
managed to keep it together but I think that is only because I was emotionally spent by the time this day finally came. The boys did great.
The build up to this day with the
anticipation was almost too much. There is such a huge
sense of guilt, sadness, and relief. Guilt because just look at those cute little faces.
Sadness because of the
unknown future for them and relief because of all the unknown and frustration for them over the last year. We truly loved these little girls and even now have a hard time looking at their pictures.
Every day was so much work but seeing their smiling faces was so worth it. They were a great addition to our family and we have always felt that they were meant to be in our home but we just didn't know for how long.
We pray for them and their future each day and hope that they will grow up to be loved and happy girls.
We miss them terribly and the boys ask often when we will be able to see them again and we tell them hopefully for their birthday, but we have to give them time to adjust to their new family and really forget us, which is hard because we will never forget them.
Today was just a sense of feeling numb and a little lost. I am thankful for family and friends that helped support us through this. Hopefully, one day they will come to know us as Uncle Jamie and Auntie Tracy and we will be able to stay a part of their lives.
My final goodbye, how my arms felt so empty when they were gone but I can now look to the future with my own boys and all that lies ahead for us. As we told the boys it isn't goodbye only see you later. I had a hard time when we got home but we have enjoyed just being us and the freedom that we now have. This is the first time since having
Darien 11 years ago that I don't have to worry about nap time, diapers and diaper bags. This is a whole new feeling for me and I know that it is going to take a little while to get used to but I know that I am going to enjoy my boys and my special time with Stefan before he grows up too fast. But they will always be in my thoughts and prayers.
The build up to this day with the anticipation was almost too much. There is such a huge sense of guilt, sadness, and relief. Guilt because just look at those cute little faces. Sadness because of the unknown future for them and relief because of all the unknown and frustration for them over the last year. We truly loved these little girls and even now have a hard time looking at their pictures.
Every day was so much work but seeing their smiling faces was so worth it. They were a great addition to our family and we have always felt that they were meant to be in our home but we just didn't know for how long.
We pray for them and their future each day and hope that they will grow up to be loved and happy girls.
We miss them terribly and the boys ask often when we will be able to see them again and we tell them hopefully for their birthday, but we have to give them time to adjust to their new family and really forget us, which is hard because we will never forget them.
Today was just a sense of feeling numb and a little lost. I am thankful for family and friends that helped support us through this. Hopefully, one day they will come to know us as Uncle Jamie and Auntie Tracy and we will be able to stay a part of their lives.
My final goodbye, how my arms felt so empty when they were gone but I can now look to the future with my own boys and all that lies ahead for us. As we told the boys it isn't goodbye only see you later. I had a hard time when we got home but we have enjoyed just being us and the freedom that we now have. This is the first time since having Darien 11 years ago that I don't have to worry about nap time, diapers and diaper bags. This is a whole new feeling for me and I know that it is going to take a little while to get used to but I know that I am going to enjoy my boys and my special time with Stefan before he grows up too fast. But they will always be in my thoughts and prayers.
Tracy, my heart is breaking reading this story. This is why I am afraid to try fostering. I often wonder about the foster homes I was in and if they remember me. My last foster home of course does (they adopted me at a time when foster parents were not allowed to adopt the children they fostered). You have made a huge impact on these little girls that will live with them forever.
ReplyDeleteBig Hugs!
Margaret